During my sophomore year of college I took the Spiritual Gifts test as a part of one of my classes.
It came out how I assumed: high on Leadership, Administration, Teaching and low on Prophecy.
However, below prophecy I found one other gift- mercy.
Though I laughed about it at first, I then found myself a bit embarrassed.
How could someone planning to serve in full-time vocational ministry have mercy dead last on their spiritual gifts ranking?
I found this revelation to consume my thoughts for weeks to come. Eventually, our student body was sent home for covid, so I went back to Alabama and then eventually went on to North Carolina to serve at camp for the summer.
During this weird season of life, I found myself convicted of these results and further dedicated myself to working on my mercy towards others by dwelling on God’s Word and living it out.
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.”
Titus 2:11
“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace. For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.”
John 1:16-17
I started each day (well, most days) by reading the following Scripture until it became so engraved in my brain that I couldn’t forget the importance of showing grace and mercy to others- as it is for all people.
I won’t sit here and say I was perfect at showing grace, but it was something the Lord began to work on with me daily.
Showing grace to God’s creation is a part of the Christian calling.
And just when I thought I was mastering the art of extending grace, I went back to school.
-
“Give yourself grace.” A phrase I remember all too well coming from the mouth of my Resident Director during my junior year of college.
I can remember always rolling my eyes and smiling, but then swiftly moving to defend my actions.
My Resident Director was showing love to me through reminding me of what I had been trying so hard to live out within my life.
I had forgotten exactly what Titus 2:11 said: “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.”
This also meant myself. I am a part of the Creation that God calls us to give grace too.
I am reminded of my time playing basketball in middle school (that’s right, she was an athlete).
Anytime I went for a shot and it hit the rim, allowing the ball to fumble into the hands of our opponents, I would likely let out a scream. Sometimes you might find me hitting myself in the face, or maybe just sulking as I ran back to the other half of the court.
Either way, I reacted poorly towards my mistake.
I felt as if I was letting my team, coaches, and many others down.
The same was true for me in this stage of life.
Anytime I couldn’t handle more than I had put on my own plate, I was quick to beat myself up over it. Anytime my actions did not reflect that of perfection or close to it, I grew frustrated.
I had little to no grace with myself.
Anytime I was not acting with complete excellence or found myself in a sinful situation, I fell into shame and disappointment.
I felt unworthy of the specific callings God had placed upon my life, and unworthy of the calling He places on all of our lives- to live a life that glorifies Him in every moment.
I felt like a disappointment, like a failure.
This has followed me into my adulthood.
Anytime I stumble or fall short, I find myself back in middle school, hitting a shot on the rim of the goal. I miss.
But glory to God, there is grace, even when we don’t want to see it.
God desires for us to live within His realm of grace. But this grace is not something that we earn.
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
Ephesians 2:8-10
“Before sin entered the world, Adam and Eve experienced God’s goodness not as a response to their demerit (since they didn’t have any) but still without deserving God’s goodness. You can’t deserve to be created. You can’t deserve, as a non-being, to be put into a lavish garden where all your needs are met by a loving Father. So even before they sinned, Adam and Eve lived in grace. And God’s will for them was that they live by faith in future grace- God’s daily, fatherly care and provision.”
Becoming a Woman of Grace, Cynthia Heald
“Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you and therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.”
Isaiah 30:18
God desires for both you and I to operate from within the grace He has extended to us and will continue to extend to us.
This does not dismiss the need for righteous living, but instead pairs with it to serve as a reminder of God’s goodness and love to us when we do fall short. Don’t take His grace for granted. Do not abuse His grace.
The Lord is continuing to teach me about His grace and love that extends beyond all physical practical efforts. Again, grace is a gift and not something we have to work to achieve. As my pastor has stated recently, receiving over achieving.
My prayer for us is that we would realize the depth of the following Scripture.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
My grace is sufficient.
We have the ability to walk in our weaknesses, knowing that they show God’s strength. How amazing is that?
So, I ask you, friends, can you show yourself grace, just as you might show it to others? (Or if you need to reverse it, I urge you to do the same).
Walking in God’s grace is a daily choice.
We have the opportunity to choose to
1. Keep beating ourselves up over ways in which we are not perfect.
Or
2. Extend grace towards ourselves and strive to live better for the gospel of Jesus Christ.
As you start or finish each day this week, I encourage you to read the following and respond with that of the child’s.
The Father and the Child
The Father spoke:
Dear child, it is time for you to understand my grace.
Yes, Father, I know little of Your grace.
If you do not begin to comprehend the depth and breadth of my grace, you will not live in the freedom and holiness that I have purposed for you.
I want to live fully as you intended.
My grace to you came at a great cost, and I desire that you become a child of grace.
How will I learn your grace?
By listening carefully to My Word, drawing close to Me in prayer, and allowing My Spirit to teach you. Come, child, let us begin. I long to show you My graciousness.
Songs for reflection, prayer, and singing:
“Run to the Father” - Cody Carnes
“Turn Your Eyes (Live)” - The Belonging Co, Natalie Grant
“Pride of a Father - Live” - Hillsong Young & Free
“Grace” - CityAlight
“The Lord is my Salvation” - Keith & Kristen Getty
Comments