My freshman year was a huge slap in the face.
Simply put, I went from being a big fish in a small pond to a small fish in a moderately large pond.
Before I left for college, I was used to achieving every goal or dream that was generally obtainable. This set me up to have many dreams of what my time in college would look like.
I walked into my freshman year believing I would become a sophomore RA, a second semester worship team member, and a spiritual mentor.
Freshman Elizabeth was overly ambitious (and arrogant).
The Lord immediately humbled me.
I was rejected for the worship team, didn’t even land an interview for resident assistant, and discovered quickly how much spiritual maturity I lacked.
It rocked me. Within one academic year I was left questioning my entire life of ministry thus far.
All the things I had planned were snatched from my control. But, control is not something we are always supposed to have.
“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”
Ephesians 3:20-21
Ephesians 3:20 (alongside Galatians 2:20), has acted as my life verse for many years now, as I believe that I have a large and vivid imagination.
As you might have noticed, I have had many dreams. Once, I even dreamed of becoming a Victoria’s Secret model. I think it's safe to say, that’s not happening (not that my mother would have let me if I had the body for it).
There were times I imagined myself becoming an artist, an astronaut, a veterinarian, and so much more.
I even made imaginary friends as a kid. Some were from my own imagination, and some were celebrities that I pretended were there.
That’s right ladies, I was dating Joe Jonas in elementary school. Eat your heart out.
Reflecting on this, I now feel a bit crazy and/or pathetic.
But on a more serious note- I have and still do imagine my future. In fact, this verse is what keeps me so encouraged for my future.
Like a lot of young girls, I have always had a desire to get married and become a mother. This comes alongside a desire for a God-fearing man who will love me as Christ loves the church (and hopefully handle a little sass).
What I’m getting at is that my imagination has things within it that can seem a bit far fetched, but it also has some that are obtainable.
And though I can imagine serving the Lord alongside a mate, and that may be obtainable, in the end, the plans and mind of God go far beyond my finite dreams and imagination.
The Lord can do more than I ask or imagine from Him.
He can take what I dream could happen and make it ten times greater. But, that might mean it looks completely different from how I envisioned it.
He could also take me into a season of life that I never imagined myself in and still show me how to glorify Him through it.
When I was rejected from the ministries I desired to be a part of during my freshman year, I was crushed. But looking back, I found that what the Lord had for me was so much greater.
I needed to discover God for myself- past the values that family and church had instilled in me. I needed to be certain that I followed God because I loved him, not just because people I loved love Him.
And the truth is, I legitimately would have been a terrible RA my sophomore year. I lacked so much maturity, and I would not have served others well.
I also needed to be rejected. Rejection has a beautiful way of reminding us that we are not the only people capable of doing what it is we do.
In this case, I was not the only person capable of serving Christ through the act of leading musical worship.
The Lord used that time to remind me to worship in the background.
No matter what plans we have, God has something much bigger at play. Things that can go beyond our human minds.
My friends, the work of God is incomprehensible.
And the plans we have are nothing compared to the plans of God.
Please, don’t hear me saying that God is going to rain more blessings on you than you could imagine. I don’t want to teach you a prosperity gospel, because that’s not how it works.
What God could have for you could be painful, cause mourning, challenge you mentally and physically, and more.
But the beautiful outcome is this:
Our God holds tomorrow. And the next day. And the days to come after that.
In fact, not only does God hold the future, we know He holds the past, and He holds this very moment.
God can and will use what you’ve gone through, what you are going through, and what you will go through to glorify Him- you just have to surrender control.
My prayer is that we would be able to confidently declare:
“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I do not set aside the grace of God, for if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!”
Galatians 2:20-21
Living a crucified life does not mean we choose our next steps, in fact it means the opposite.
In order to be crucified with Christ, we must deliver every breath and moment of ours to His name.
We cannot just walk in the initial surrender to the Holy Spirit we had when we gave our lives to Christ, but we must walk in continual surrender- a never ending cycle of leaning into the plans of God.
We can dream. We can hope. Those are not bad things. Yet in all things we must have the hope of living a life centered around the Lord.
Control is not something that is surrendered easily. It's a process, but it's a process we can all work on together.
God calls us to surrender the things that are good and bad within our lives.
So, I ask you, what do you need to surrender?
Do you need to surrender your agenda and plan for today or tomorrow?
Your humility?
Your choices?
Total surrender is the only way we can live out the conclusion of Ephesians 3.
“To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.”
Ephesians 3:21
I encourage you to take time this week and ask the Lord how you can continue to surrender every moment to Him in order for Him to be glorified.
How will you make room for the Lord to use your life?
Songs for reflection, prayer, and singing:
“Honest Offering / I Surrender All” - CAIN
“Your Glory” - All Sons & Daughters
“Most Beautiful / So in Love” - Maverick City Music, Chandler Moore
“Make Room” - The Church Will Sing
“Nothing Else” - Cody Carnes
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