If I had a dollar for any time I have had to take the spiritual gifts test in the line of ministry, I would probably have eight or nine dollars. You know, enough to buy two gallons of gas, three if you’re lucky.
Everytime I can remember internally hoping I would end up with the results that I wanted. Though today they would come back accurately, for many years I would pay close attention to questions in order to hopefully come out with the answer that best pleased me.
I always counted my top three spiritual gifts to be leadership, administration, and discernment. I was always satisfied when my results came back this way, as I thought the three paired well together in the context of the ministry in which the Lord has directed me towards.
And though these gifts may be true, through reflection of the last ten years I have spent in ministry, I have found that it wasn’t always true.
Whereas I have found myself honing in on the gifts of leadership and administration, the gift of discernment is ironically one that is hard to discern.
For years I always thought that discernment was my thing.
I believed I could sense the true intentions and motives behind the actions of those who served around me; and I often came to the conclusion that their motives were not always pure.
Oh, how wrong I was.
And sure, maybe sometimes I was on the right path but Lord knows how many times many times my discernment came from a place of judgment.
This is what led me to realize that there is a blatant difference between discernment and conviction.
What I mean by that is this: we often feel the need to believe someone’s intentions behind something good or moral are not pure in order to justify our lack of the same guiding morals.
Sometimes we may see a holy and set apart lifestyle as one that is pompous and arrogant in order to inwardly defend the fact that our lifestyle is not one that is set apart and walked in accordance with the commandments of God.
The things we “discern” about others may be what is actually only true of ourselves.
Insead of discerning the spirit of others with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, we direct our discernment by the judgment and guilt found within our own hearts. The only thing is- we don’t always realize this.
I can recall years upon years I spent internally believing that others were not truly walking with Christ, when in reality I was feeling convicted that I was not fully outside of the direction that the world wanted to pull me.
I was judgmental, prideful, and rude. It just didn’t always show.
I wonder how true this might be for many of us?
Now, this is a hard subject for me to write about, seeing as I spent so many years judging others. It almost seems wrong to even try to tell you about what I’ve found.
I can remember being the person who never offered grace, and instead forced out-of-context Scripture down the throats of those I knew and those who didn’t. And even now, I have to be careful about not letting myself form judgmental opinions of others based on jealousy or the difference of lifestyles.
But I can be honest in saying that I believe this whole subject in which I am touching on comes back to some Scripture that might be familiar to all of us.
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5
I spent the majority of my high school years wrongly judging others, but asking myself why they would ever judge me.
The reality of the situation was that I was blinded by a log in my own eyes. The log in my eyes kept me from seeing my own wrong doings in my life. It kept me from seeing how I was not discerning the spirit of others, but I was judging because I knew that deep down my heart was not in the right place.
The righteous lives’ of others convicted me; and instead of responding with a tender and repentant heart, I responded with a judgmental and in denial one.
So, how do we make that transfer from being judgmental to being righteous discerner?
It takes consistent reliance on the Lord.
Unless we are walking with the Lord daily and growing in our relationship with Him, we will never be able to walk in His ways.
Our daily lives are walked in what we know; and we either know putting ourselves first or putting God first.
So the first way we can step out from judgment and into grace & condition is by asking the Lord to search our hearts.
"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24
When we allow God to search and test our hearts, then we are allowing God to bring to light all the darkness that is within us.
Its not a fun process, but it is one that brings enlightenment from the Holy Spirit. It is one that will "lead us in the way everlasting". It is one that will help us take the steps to grow closer to Christ.
If we do not seek the Lord, we will not find the Lord. And if we do not find the Lord, we cannot follow the Lord.
The new must seek to be holy, and combat judgmental hearts with the truth of God's Word.
"Finally, all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble."
1 Peter 3:8
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience,"
Colossians 3:12
The Word of God tells us the ways in which are hearts and minds should be aligned as His body.
We are to be compassionate and strive to live a life of humility.
The new walk in true love and compassion for others and then pair that compassion with the act of humbleness, then we will be able to combat a unrighteous, judgmental heart.
So instead of judging others, we should be compassionate. To be compassionate is not just to show kindness, but to walk through life with others. To be compassionate literally means "to suffer together".
Sometimes suffering doesn't look like a physical sorrow, but an inward stance of mourning. Instead of judging the hearts of others, reach down to feel how they feel, and continue to do life with them, working to encourage them as Christ would.
Friends, we must stop judging others because we think what they do is wrong. In the same way though, we still must hold other believers accountable for how they reflect the name of Jesus.
And do not allow yourself to grow jealous when you see someone serving Christ well. Don't assume their heart is in the wrong place just because ours might not always be. Ho does that help further the Kingdom of Christ?
So how do we balance all these things?
The true balance between judgment and discernment is found in grace and mercy.
"Because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment."
James 2:13
Remember the mercy shown to us.
The mercy that forgave our sins by dying a painful death upon a cross in order to bridge the gap from sin into eternal life.
Lean into the Lord.
Allow Him to search your heart.
Will He find a judgmental spirit? He might, but don't let that get you down; instead, act on it. Turn it into Christian action.
Will He convict you of your wrongdoings; Heck yes, but in doing so He is extending compassion and mercy. Conviction is not a condemnation, but a guide to a better life in Christ.
Will He help you to discern what is pleasing to Him? If you make that your prayer! Allow Him to guide your living, and your living will be more fruitful.
Songs for reflection, prayers, and singing:
"The Goodness of Jesus" - CityAlight
"His Mercy is More" - Matt Baswell, Matt Papa
"Good and Gracious" - CityAlight
"Refiner" - Maverick City Music
"Here Again" - Elevation Worship
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