For as long as I can remember, I have always had a plan.
When asked what I wanted to be when I grew up at my kindergarten graduation, I believe I answered with what many kids said: “a veterinarian”. Granted, I was young, so I probably pronounced it incorrectly.
I’m also not sure why that would have been my answer, as the only animals I had ever been around were my pet goldfish… and they both died.
But I digress.
When I was in the third grade I planned to attend Athens State College in Athens, Alabama and pursue a degree in education. I wanted to teach.
However, as I started to grow more into some of the real talents and passions God had put on my life, I was confident that my next steps were to pursue full-time worship ministry. By my freshman year of high school I knew what college I wanted to attend, and I was accepted right as my senior year began.
And of course, I had plans for what college would look like a well.
I was certain that by the end of my freshman year I would meet my future husband, by the end of junior year we would be engaged, and then we would get married after graduation. A true private Christian college experience.
Well, if you know me, you know that I landed nowhere near that plan. In fact, the only part of my plan I accomplished for that certain season was graduating on time.
The next aspect of my plan was to land a job in ministry and continue my education. Which, I did.
And though the details of my plans have changed along the way; I have never not had some sort of plan.
And this past week, I finished my plan. I achieved a master’s degree in Christian leadership. And though I’m excited, I now have one question remaining:
What comes next?
I feel as if the disciples of Jesus might have had a similar moment.
As they followed Jesus, they began to follow His plan, though never thoroughly written out. Jesus would inform them of where they would travel next, and He guided them on how to evangelize and care for others.
And as they grew closer to Jesus, I might assume that they slowly moved into a mindset that He would continue to give them specific next steps.
But then, Jesus was taken away from them. He died, came back for forty days, and then He prepared to leave them again.
And I can’t help but wonder if many of the disciples (and maybe even Peter specifically) might have wondered: Well, what now? What comes next?
Thankfully, Jesus left the disciples with some instructions:
Jesus came and told his disciples, “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:18-20
And then, He ascended into heaven. Jesus laid out a general gameplan, but He left no specifics.
Why? Because the way we each accomplish the will of God is different.
And why is it different? Because God created us all differently.
We were all created with the same purpose in mind: Glorify God and Love His people.
Each one of the disciples went on to serve God in different ways. But the only reason they were able to decipher the next specific steps was because Jesus sent the Holy Spirit to be present with them at all times.
The Holy Spirit is our guide for a reason.
But, as I have been reminded lately, the Holy Spirit isn’t only present to guide specific areas of our lives, such as making critical decisions or giving us inner peace, but He is gifted to us in order to be present in every moment.
In his book Becoming the Me I Want to Be, John Ortberg reminds readers that we cannot become these things on our own.
“A tree’s job is not to try to bear fruit; the tree’s job is to abide near the river. And the fruit does not ripen overnight.”
We are called to continually abide in the Spirit. And when we abide in the Spirit, we will find that we will then develop It’s fruit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
When we are fully present with the Spirit, he will also begin to transform us into whom He always intended for us to be.
But we have to first realize that we can’t make ourselves that person on our own. We must be fully surrendered to the Spirit.
As we step into the flow of the Spirit, I believe two things will happen:
1) He will remind us of the person He has not created us to be.
And,
2) He will remind us that the specific characteristics He has created in us are good.
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God did not create you to be someone else.
When we get to Heaven, I do not believe that the Lord will ask me why I didn’t lead worship like Kari Jobe or Brooke Ligertwood.
I do not think He will ask me why I did not teach with the passion of Priscilla Shirer or David Platt.
I’m not Kari, Brooke, or Priscilla; and I am definitely not David.
I am Elizabeth Spencer. And God created me with a specific DNA make up to glorify Him in a way that no one else was created to do.
And the same is true for all of us. If you think He created you to be someone else, then I think you miss the beauty of unique creation.
So, we must first remember that He did not create us to be another person.
But here’s another truth:
God did not create you to be the specific version of you that you create in your mind.
Now, truly I don’t know how to state that in a way that isn’t slightly confusing off the jump.
What I mean by that is this: We can recognize that God made us unique while still trying to create the version of ourselves we think we ought to be.
Sometimes the image of who we want to be is created by the expectations we see from others or the expectations of ourselves.
But trying to evolve into a person that God has not created you to be is empty and pointless. You will only be left still feeling hollow and without true purpose.
And lastly:
God did not create you poorly.
I can remember inwardly rolling my eyes in middle school when adult leaders would continually quote the same Scripture to me:
“For you created my inmost being you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful; I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14
But this truth is something I wish I would have fully trusted sooner.
This isn’t just a Sunday School phrase that has no deeper meaning- it is a fact of creation.
God made no mistake when making any of us.
Sometimes we see some of our characteristics and wonder how God could create us good and still give us those “flaws”.
However, the flaw is not the characteristic, but the flaw is how we choose to channel each individual characteristic He has given us.
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I have always been one of the most honest, opinionated people in the room. In addition to this... I am loud as heck.
For so many years I wondered why God would create me to be so outspoken, stubborn, and “in your face”.
When I saw these characteristics in action, they often took the form of sin.
But God did not create these traits for bad, but He created them for good.
The reality is, God can use my honesty to point others towards the truth of His gospel. I just need to match the honesty with the kindness His Spirit develops within me.
My opinions can also bring new perspective to a group. I just need to match that with the patience and gentleness His Spirit develops within me.
My loud nature can also create new ways to spread the name of Jesus. I just need to match that with the peace and joy that His Spirit develops within me.
Friends, if we would take a step back and look at the way God has uniquely created each of us, we would see that it is not bad.
In fact, every trait is good when matched with the presence of His Spirit.
God does not want us to discard any trait He has given us that we might view as bad, but He calls us to redirect them into a way that can glorify Him.
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So, you might be asking yourself: What does this have to do with Elizabeth’s next steps in life?
To answer that I would say: everything.
I no longer want to develop my own plans, but I want to develop the flow of the Spirit in my life.
I do not want to aim to be someone who I think I should be.
I do not want to aim to be someone who others think I should be.
I do not want to aim to be someone who I am not.
But my next step is this: to become the me God has created me to be- the very best version of myself.
No specifics. Just genuine growth in Christ.
There may still be small goals in my life, but each one will be determined by if it prompts me to flourish in my identity in Christ.
So, I pray that you will join me on this journey. Because when we all step into who Christ has created us to be, we will see so many victories in the name of Jesus.
Songs for reflection, prayer, and singing:
"Narrow Road" - TAYA
"Made For More" - Johs Baldwin
"Adoption Song" - Brandon Lake
"The Stand" - Hillsong UNITED
"You Know My Name" - Tasha Cobbs Leonard, Jimi Cravity
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