Honesty time: It’s been a tough 48 hours.
At the risk of being vulnerable with you all, I have to be honest in telling you that I have cried far too many tears over the last couple days.
Whereas I have always prided myself in my ability to feel all my feelings- I’ve hit the point of not desiring to feel them anymore.
Frankly, it sucks.
I think we’ve all experienced this moment before, maybe?
For me it looks like red eyes, a sore throat, blotchy skin, and maybe even a little pressure in the chest.
The outward signs of an inward pain.
What causes such feelings? Many things.
Such feelings of sorrow can stem from loss, fear, injustice, or just the brokenness of the world.
The expression of this is what we might refer to as lament.
I have lamented much this week.
From the loss of a classmate to grievances within my personal life, I have cried out to God and expressed how displeased I am with my current state of life.
Afterwards, I had to stop myself from acting and believing as if my crying out to God was dumb.
In doing so, I have been reminded of a beautiful example of lament that many of us might relate to.
Have compassion on me, Lord, for I am weak. Heal me, Lord, for my bones are in agony. I am sick at heart. How long, O Lord, until you restore me? Return, O Lord, and rescue me. Save me because of your unfailing love. For the dead do not remember you. Who can praise you from the grave? I am worn out from sobbing. All night I flood my bed with weeping, drenching it with my tears. My vision is blurred by grief."
Psalm 7:2-7a (NLT)
David is the king of lament; the dude went through it.
To provide a little context, currently, David has found himself struggling with physical illness and the attacks of his enemies.
At the top of this passage, David is pleading for healing of his physical body and for his soul.
His bones are troubled, and his soul is troubled- double whammy.
However, David acknowledges His need for compassion from the Lord. He isn’t just complaining to God, He is pleading with God to draw near to Him in his sorrow.
David is pleading for deliverance: “Return, O Lord, and rescue me!”
Not only is this a plead for deliverance, but David is also asking God to draw near to Him… which communicates to me that David felt distant from the Lord.
And then comes the most relatable part: “I am worn out from sobbing.”
Me too, David, me too.
I can remember times where I thought that maybe David just had a flare for dramatics (and there probably is some truth here), but over time I have come to understand His cry
David is feeling alllll of his feelings.
He does not deny them.
But, he is also not desiring to sit in them. Instead, as we have noted, He cries out to God in hopes of deliverance.
And then we see resolution:
Go away, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my plea; the Lord will answer my prayer.
Psalm 6:8-9 (NLT)
David is able to step forward in confidence, knowing that the Lord has heard His cry and that he will be delivered.
In fact, I love how Psalm 7 begins, following up this time of lament.
"Lord my God, I take refuge in you; Save and deliver me from all who pursue me, or they will tear me apart like a lion and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me."
Psalm 7:1-2
David declares where His refuge is, and where He will end up if He didn’t find refuge in the Lord.
David was human like all of us.
So, in recognizing that, we can also recognize that we also have the ability to follow the actions of David.
It’s okay to make your feelings known to God.
It’s okay to feel hurt or fearful.
It’s okay to express your sorrow.
It’s okay to drown your bed with tears (just not always fun).
But in doing such things, we also need to point ourselves back to the hope we have found in Christ.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
2 Corinthians 1:3-7 (NIV)
As we suffer, our suffering produces endurance (James 1).
But best of all, our God is the God of compassion.
So even if we don’t feel like we’re enduring, or we feel weak and stuck- there is comfort found in Christ.
So friends, whereas I’ve had a sucky few days, I know that better days are on the horizon.
I might still be hurting, but Christ has felt the deepest wounds caused by my sins, so I turn to Him- the God who weeps with those He loves.
And though I might feel silly, as I caused Him the deepest pains, I know that God desires to hear my heart.
But more than this, God desires for my heart to draw close to His, in order that I would continue to find my hope in Him.
His compassion is like no other.
So I choose to trust God with my sorrow, for I know He turns mourning to dancing.
And I love to dance.
Songs for reflection, prayer, & singing:
"Call on Your Name - Piano Version" - Elle Limebear
"High & Lows" - Hillson Young & Free, Aodhan King
"Goodness of God" - Bethel Music, Jenn Johnson
"Give Me Jesus" - UPPERROOM, Abbie Gamboa
"Before and After" - Elevation Worship, Maverick City Music
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